Fear? What's that?

He closed his eyes for a moment. His entire life flashed in front of him. His school life whizzed past him first, where he pretty much spent all his time outside the principal's office. His college life followed suit, where everyone wanted to be like him and he roamed around with his chest held high. Finally, his ten years of service as a cop appeared like a slow moving reel. He was both respected and feared across so many cities in India. Fear was a term that was alien to him. He was hit by bullets many a times, one of which hit him very close to the heart too. But he was never afraid. He was the epitome of bravery. He remembered his wedding. People told him how he would be afraid of his wife, but she turned out to be a gem. 
He had taken the day off this morning. His first bunk in almost three years. His wife was genuinely surprised and asked him what was wrong. He made some lame excuse and left. He wasn't going to let his wife see him like that. She had never known him to be afraid of anything. Heck, he himself couldn't remember the last time he was afraid of something. He tried to remember, the last time he was so scared. Maybe when he was a small boy, he thought. Yet, here he was sitting in a chair, with his eyes closed, and he was shivering like his grandmother. He remembered how her dentures used to rattle when she shivered. "Focus jackass!! Focus." he told himself. In a distance, he heard his name being called out. He knew that his time was running out. He kept his eyes closed. She called out to him again. He didn't budge. He felt like one of those criminals who was waiting for his turn to be hanged. "Sir!", said the receptionist who had now walked up to him, "the dentist is now ready to see you."

Epiphany

He started rolling a joint. This would be the last time, he told himself. He would quit after this one. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He needed a shave. People had started pointing at him and laughing of late and it was beginning to bother him. He was making a mental note of all the things he had to do. He stepped into his bathtub and took a drag. Slowly, he drifted into the state of bliss, his favourite feeling in the world. Too bad it would be for the last time, he thought. It was slowing his progress down and he knew it. He started playing with his toy ship and tried to drown it. But it kept bouncing back up. He noticed that every time he pushed the ship down, the water level rose. It suddenly hit him.
"EUREKA", he screamed and ran all around town, naked.
He then came back to his house and rolled up a joint. This would be the last time, he told himself. He would quit after this one.

P.S- This is obviously a work of fiction. No offence intended. 

A memory

I saw her for the first time in the park. So many years have passed but I still remember every single minute of that unforgettable morning. I was sitting on the grass beside the bench after my usual walk. She settled herself down about 10 ft away beside the other bench. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She suddenly looked up and our eyes met. I looked away almost immediately. A couple of seconds later I slowly glanced in her direction. She was still looking at me. I turned my gaze away again. I looked at her again and she was still looking at me but I could sense that she was not angry. I smiled weakly at her. She smiled back. I started playing conversations in my head. I obviously didn't want to sound stupid. After gathering enough courage, I decided to go up to her and say something. I did not know why, but I couldn't move. I felt I was being dragged back. I turned around, only to find my master tugging at my leash. It was time to leave. I barked in sadness, but to no avail. He marched out of the park and I was dragged out without a choice. I turned around and saw her staring at my helplessness. I could tell, that she understood. Our eyes met, for the last time.  

Run for your lives

I ran as fast as I could. I had to, I had no choice. Any moment now, I thought. I was waiting for an idea, a spark, anything. I was desperate to find a way out of this. About fifteen minutes and a few short cuts later, I had escaped. But not for long, I knew. I stopped under an old banyan tree and decided to take some rest. I was woken up by the sound of something creeping its way towards me. I started running again. A farmer spotted me running and asked me what the matter was. "Ruuuuunnnnnn", I screamed. Before I realized, he picked up his 2 year old son and started running alongside me. Twenty minutes later, I was running with about fifty people or so. Every time I had a lead on them, I rested and waited for them to catch up. This went on for an hour until we passed by a sage's ashram. He asked us to stop. Almost all of us screamed "Ruuuuunnnnnn" in unison. He asked us to calm down and asked us who we were running from. All those puzzled faces looked at each other until one of the villagers finally pointed in my direction. "What are you running from child? Who are you trying to evade?", the sage asked me. "I am running away from reality", I replied. "Ruuuuunnnnnn" screamed the wise sage and all of us ran as fast as our legs could carry us.  

Anger Management

My first introspective post. I generally make observations about things around me, but somehow I wanted to write about this. I wanted to think out loud about what I have been doing and what I should do.
Let's get started then, shall we?
If you ask my colleagues or my friends from college to describe me in one word, you might hear many things but 'short tempered' will not figure in that list. Primarily because 'short tempered' is two words (Sorry :P) but yes, as my frivolity suggests, I do not come across as an "angry young man."
Ask my parents and they will tell you about my temper. When I was a kid, I tore a 100 rupee note in anger. I have broken various articles of my house and on one occasion even tore my dad's train ticket. This was when I was immature. Nothing changed till I was in 12th standard. I used to hit my brother and screamed a lot at people. I often asked my parents for a punching bag as a gift, but they feared I would fling it at my brother. I used to punch walls instead.
So what caused the transformation, you ask me? Who said that I transformed? I believe that people do not change. They merely adapt. Sometimes they adapt extremely well, but deep inside, they are the same person.
So what made me adapt? I joined college and stayed in a hostel. There I learnt the meaning of the word tolerance. I realized that not everyone was like me. I tried to understand their point of view. If I still couldn't, I distanced myself from them. In the process, I surprised myself by not reacting to things that would have otherwise enraged me.
That went on for a while until, say, a year back. I never lost my cool and never let anger get the better of me. The last one year has been tough thanks to work and the irritating people that I have been around. I have been extremely calm and have simply walked out if necessary. Now I am scared as it has been ages since I have blown my fuse. I am afraid that all my feelings are getting bottled up and one fine day, the volcano might erupt. You may not be able to understand this, but I am extremely angry at the fact that I'm not getting angry. Contradictory, right? Off late, more often than not, I am angry at myself. I am angry that I do not give it back to the person. I could have easily screamed or thrown a punch at them but I somehow don't want to. So I ask myself, 'what should I do?' My anger has risen only because I place my expectations on the wrong people. So do I stop expecting things from people? I honestly don't know what to do about this, but this is the first time, I have expressed myself. I do not expect anything from the reader of this post. Thanks for patiently reading what was inside my head. I have identified the problem, and I shall strive to find the solution. There is a chance, you were misled into reading this post thanks to its title. I shall not disappoint you. Here's one way to control your anger- when you are furious at someone or something, go look into the mirror. You will find this fuming buffoon staring at you. In about 3 seconds, you should start smiling, if not laughing. Works for me.

Just another day?

First of all, let me start by wishing all you wonderful women out there, a very happy women's day.

So this morning, when it hit me that it was women's day, I began to wonder. Now with all due respect, I do not mean to offend anyone, because women do need their day. But I always assumed it was called "every"day. So I felt a little sad that there was no day for me. Here is the transcript of the conversation that I had, with myself-

Me 1- Women's day
Me 2- Not applicable
Me 1- Mother's day
Me 2- N/A
Me 1- Father's day
Me 2- Dai!!
Me 1- Sorry! What else do we have?
Me 2- Birthday?
Me 1- Everyone has that.
Me 2- People even have wedding anniversaries.
Me 1- N/A. Valentine's day?
Me 2- When was the last time you spoke to a girl?
Me 1- Well played. Children's day?
Me 2- Too old
Me 1- April Fool's day?
Me 2- That would have to be everyday!
Me 1- There is a star wars day in May. On May 4th. You know! Cos May the 4's be with you.
Me 2- Now you know why you are alone and 'Solo'?
Me 1- Superb reference joke. Give me five! Up top!
Me 2- Shut up!
Me 1- Okay sorry. March 14 is called pi day. You know 3.14, really interesting trivia.
Me 2- Focus!
Me 1- There's Left hander's day.
Me 2- I am sorry but being able to text with your left hand doesn't allow you to qualify for that.
Me 1-  Okay! I am out.
Me 2- Bloody hell man! Every dog also has its day!
Me 1- Hahaha yeah.
Me 2- So, you are 24, you are a guy, you are single, you go to office everyday, you have no special talents. Why do you need a day?
Me 1- I don't know! Everybody had one, so I was feeling left out.
Me 2- Shut up and go to work!

So that weird conversation happened, and here I was, sitting in office, feeling morose. Then slowly, one by one all the girls/women in my office, walked in. All dressed in beautiful sarees. What a visual delight. Each one looking prettier than the other. It was like there was a contest and they were all adversarees! (Sorry)
And that was when it hit me. The bloody genius who invented women's day must still be smiling in his grave. That guy gave the women a day and asked them to look as pretty as they can and then show up in front of us. So here it was. It was my day. I mentally wished myself happy women's day and thanked that guy. I also wished there was more than one women's day every year.
Apart from that, I decided to overhear the excited female colleagues, who were joyously discussing the importance of the day. (Such naive people)
One said- There are going to be chocolates.
(Turns out it was for everyone)
Another said- There are going to be games. We ask the guys to pass a ball and when the music stops, whichever guy has the ball in his hand, we get to tell him to do some fun (read stupid) task.
(So that's basically what we do everyday, except, we will be doing so with a ball in our hand)

So by the end of the day, everyone was happy, especially me. I just realized that the women around me, made my day.
So before I forget, let me wish all you wonderful women out there, a very happy women's day.