Thank God Ramesh Sippy made Sholay...

The other day I was just sitting and thinking about Bollywood and I realized that the one movie which changed the face of Bollywood was SHOLAY! So this thought cropped into my head. What if Sholay was made by..... (I got stunning replies from the dude sitting inside my head)

• Farhan Akthar- The movie would star S.R.K playing Jai and Arjun Rampal playing Veeru and music by Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy. The climax would reveal Thakur never lost his hands and he was just lazy to fight Gabbar!


• Steven spielberg- The movie would have Tom Hanks playing Thakur. After the first 15 minutes, the movie will take a sci-fi turn and noone will understand anything. The movie and Hanks would win the OSCAR for the mind blasting performance!


• Vishal Bharadwaj- The movie would have Vishal Bharadwaj doing the music as wel. Dialogues will change as follows- "Arey oh Kalia, kitne aadmi the?" would become "Abey oh kalia, kitne ********* the??", "Basanti! In kutton ke saamne mat nachna" would become Basanti! in ************* ke saamne mat naachna" and so on...


• Christopher Nolan (Director of The Memento, Batman begins, The dark night and the prestige) - The movie would have Christian bale and Michael Caine. It would open with the death of Gabbar and go on to show the birth of Thakur. The scenes will play in random order and suddenly you will realize that Veeru and Jai are the same person!


• Kamal Hassan- Very simple. Kamal will play Jai, Veeru, Thakur, Basanti, Radha, Gabbar, Ramlal,Imam, Ahmed, Mausi, Sambha, Kalia and Hariram nai!


• Priyadarshan- The movie's main character will be Soorma Bhopali and the movie would be a comical hit...


• Ashutosh Gowariker- The movie will run for 9 hours. It will have A.R.Rahman as the music director. Amitabh Bachchan will be the narrator as well. Every scene will be explained beautifully with each and every detail conveyed perfectly. There will be 4 intervals and a lunch/dinner break as well.

• Manoj Night Shyamalan- The movie will be really spooky through out and the climax will reveal that Thakur's family was killed by Dhanno (Basanti (Hema Malini)'s horse) as it possessed the ghost of some guy who Thakur killed in his previous birth! So Gabbar and Thakur join hands (Oops!) and fight Dhanno together.


• Mani Rathnam- The movie would star the likes of Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Bachchan, R.Madhavan and the music would be given by A.R.Rahman. The movie will go on to show the problems faced by the poor people and explain in detail about how the political system of the country is flawed. Gabbar ends up being the hero as he is the only one who can stop the politicians.


• James Cameron- Thakur goes into the future and creates two robots T-1000 and T-1001( ie Veeru and Jai) so as to protect him from Gabbar. We are later told that Radha and Basanti are two aliens from outer space who try to invade earth!

• Sylvester Stallone- It will star the man himself. It will be about this one hero beating the hell out of ten or twenty Gabbars. There's no Jai, Veeru, Thakur, only one "Ram"bo.. The movie will have four or five sequels as well..
  

• Karan Johar- The movie's title will start with K and it will have SRK along with Preity Zinta, Kajol, Rani Mukherjee. SRK will be the only hero and will romance with all the actors(both genders)! All the fight sequences will be cancelled and the movie will be shot in an exotic foreign location!

• Ram Gopal Varma- The movie will be burnt to ashes! Oh wait. He already did that. :P
  

That was Rgv ki aag.. :P

Abba......!!

I was abashed in my own presence. My morale was abated. I think its time I abdicated speaking in English. I felt aberrant. Something was certainly wrong. I needed an abettor. My so called decent vocabulary was in abeyance. I abhorred myself. I was in abject distress. My actions were abominable. I felt aboriginal. I should have aborted long back. Just because I stay in a village now doesn't mean my English has abraded. I should have abrogated the very idea of trying to do something like this. My nose was abscised in public. I just want to run away somewhere, the same way my vocabulary went absconding. This was absolute embarrassment. I wish I could be absolved. I swear I will abstain from attempting something like this again. I will be abstemious with the amount of talking I do.



I hope this post isn't getting too abstruse (recondite) for you to understand. Oh it is?? Please do not get abusive. Well, in order to abridge all that I have written I shall give you an abstract....

I am angry with myself . Oh, you ask, why?? Well... I could not frame a proper sentence with the word abysmal. It is really sad to say that my performance has become very abysmal nowadays.

Hey... Wait a minute............